


The Mess We Made

by ifwegettherebysunset



Category: Yu-Gi-Oh!, Yu-Gi-Oh! 5D's
Genre: (for Yusei), Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt Yusei, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Protect the Crab Child, also there's some sex stuff, emotionally anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 15:08:16
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,905
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16200047
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ifwegettherebysunset/pseuds/ifwegettherebysunset
Summary: Yusei takes too much, gives even more, and is always left behind. Kiryu thinks that if there's any justice in the world, he will get someone who stays.





	The Mess We Made

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ChatoyantPenumbra](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChatoyantPenumbra/gifts).



> this focuses primarily on romantic love and treasonshipping giving way to a synchroshipping endgame fic, though other ships do have screentime. just to clarify
> 
> Please follow the link at the beginning! The song is what brought this on

_I've been hopin'_  
_Somebody loves you in the ways I couldn't_  
_Somebody's takin' care of_  
_All of the mess I made,_  
_Someone you don't have to change._

[Hailee Steinfeld & Alesso](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a3NsCITgUmY)

* * *

Yusei takes too much and gives even more. Neo Domino scorns him and his friends, and he makes it into a home. Security calls him worthless, and he befriends officers.

Kiryu wishes he could say he broke the pattern. But he's one of the thickest stitches in the pattern, seconded only by the guilt that ingrained that giving spirit in Yusei left by Dr. Fudo.

He almost wishes he never knew him.

He almost wishes that's the truth.

* * *

The worst part is Kiryu loves him.

No. That's not right.

The worst part is Yusei loves him.

Yusei is friendly and caring. He makes friends just by talking to people, and he never forgets them as he's not easily forgotten by them. But when he finds someone he can  _love_ , he never lets go. Even when he should.

Kiryu leeches off that devotion. He claws at Yusei's chest as if he's trying to tear him open and climb inside. Yusei holds him closer as if he'll let him.

Kiryu whispers honey in his ear and Yusei swallows it like he's  _grateful_. Grateful that someone puts up with him despite what his father did, grateful someone wants him even when he's  _him_ , as if that's not why he's wanted.

Kiryu takes and takes and takes. Bruises mar Yusei from teeth and fingers. Yusei murmurs his name with love on his tongue and gives everything he has.

* * *

When Crow and Jack leave, Yusei takes Kiryu's hand and says, "I'm here for you."

Kiryu looks at him and sees the stars he barely remembers. Yusei smiles, just a little. Kiryu's oblivious to the pain there, pain that he's pushed their friends away, focusing on that steady love.

"We don't need them," Kiryu growls, "I have  _you_."

Yusei gives him a kiss. Kiryu turns it violent, but that's okay. Yusei can take it. If it will give Kiryu any peace, Yusei will do anything.

* * *

"I can't be with you anymore."

Kiryu flinches when he remembers that time. It's the only night he can recall that Yusei makes the decision to leave someone. And it wasn't even for him, not really. It was for  _Kiryu_ , an attempt to help him see sense.

He doesn't, but Yusei comes back anyway.

Then the not-betrayal. The heartbreak on Yusei's face. Not the first or last time Kiryu will break him.

* * *

When Kiryu is gone, Jack is there. 

Jack's like Kiryu in some ways. Yes, he's kinder, not as volatile, but he's still selfish, prideful, and powerful. He snatches Yusei's dreams and makes sure he can't follow until later, when he's consolidated enough riches.

And Yusei does follow. Even quieter than before, and definitely battered, but he's there.

He escapes prison with a marker. He's blackmailed into the Fortune Cup. Jack does him no favors through any of it.

Yusei forgives him.

Jack takes him again.

Then Carly appears. Yusei notices the change and forgives him.

Every day, he forgives him.

* * *

Aki slices Yusei open too.

Yusei presents his soul before her and tells her he will take every sorrow. In return, he gives a battered heart made of kindness.

Aki, like others before her, doesn't quite know what to do, so she attacks again.

Stardust never leaves.

It takes time, but Aki realizes that Yusei will never leave either.

* * *

Bruno crashes into the picture with everything Yusei deserves: a kind, gentle love.

They shyly brush hands as they code together, share little kisses where they think no one can see. When Yusei works without his jacket on cold nights, Bruno lends him his. Yusei smiles more.

Then Bruno isn't Bruno.

The Signers feel Yusei's scream.

* * *

Aki's love turns gentle and kind too. That last night before everything changes, they finally clasp hands and kiss.

"You have the most beautiful smile in the world," Yusei tells her.

Aki wants to say how beautiful  _his_ smile is, but can't open her mouth. She kisses him again and hopes he understands.

But it's still the last night.

Yusei holds up his hand for a high-five. She, and their friends, leave him for the future. It's a decision they all feel good about.

Yusei sends a message to Kiryu that night.

* * *

Kiryu stays away as best he can. After what Yusei's done for him,  _again_ , he doesn't want to risk another scar.

But Yusei keeps giving him time. Gives him friendly messages, hopeful smiles, even visits of his own. On every visit, Yusei looks around Crashtown and says he's glad Kiryu's okay. At least he's stopped asking if Kiryu will come back.

Kiryu still hugs him. And fuck it all, he still smells the same, even holds him the same.

He's too fucking good for everyone and he still thinks he deserves to be left behind.

Did they  _all_ have to leave? Kiryu thinks bitterly. As if Yusei needs another reminder not to open himself up.

Now he doesn't know what's worse: the fact that Yusei will always be open, or that Yusei still loves him.

* * *

 Five years pass. Old friends occasionally visit. Sometimes for tournaments, sometimes just to say hello. They never stay.

Kiryu hates himself for a lot of things. Being one of those who don't stay is at the top of that list.

Yusei offers his home all the same. Burning himself to keep the light going, like a star.

Kiryu gives in and visits for a day. Just a day.

* * *

 With the sounds he makes, it's clear Yusei hasn't had sex in years. Kiryu will bet he's barely been touched period.

Stupid, beautiful Yusei.

Kiryu tries not to leave marks this time, but Yusei's so damn desperate, bending however Kiryu wants, showering him with kisses and whispers and—

When Yusei stretches that morning, he's mottled with angry bruises.

When Kiryu tells him he's leaving, he says "Safe travels" quietly, resigned but happy to give him freedom.

Kiryu can't stand to look at himself.

He wishes that's the last time.

* * *

Two years later, Yusei sends an excited message to everyone.

Of course Kiryu's heard of that duel with Paradox. After everything with the Signers, not much surprises him. So when Yusei says that the No-Longer-Nameless Pharaoh is taking his guest room, Kiryu merely raises an eyebrow.

Yusei also says  _Atem_ couldn't rest after returning to Yugi for a bare five minutes. He'd died at sixteen. He'd felt a future in his former partner and he couldn't stop wanting to chase after one of his own.

It took a while to sort it out, but now he's here.

Kiryu's glad there's someone with Yusei, but he's not confident Atem will stay.

* * *

The confidence comes when Kiryu visits one last time.

He never met Bruno, so he doesn't know if he was similar, but Atem makes Yusei  _glow_.

They go through their decks together, discussing strategy for hours on end. Yusei's helping Atem reconstruct something like the one he had with Yugi, barring a few new cards and Synchros. Atem's delighted to find that Dark Magician has only evolved with time, and he never seems to get tired of hearing about Duel Monsters' new rules.

He might not understand much about Yusei's machines, but he listens to Yusei's ideas and tries to grasp concepts as best he can. During Kiryu's visit, his simplified understanding actually yields a breakthrough in Yusei's work. The beaming smile they share is nothing like Kiryu's seen on his friend.

In other words, if Atem tries to leave, Kiryu might fucking kill somebody.

But Atem won't leave.

Kiryu knows that not because of how Atem's an early riser and makes Yusei coffee, or plies him with food to take a break and get some fresh air, or even holding his hand and saying he's glad he's here with him.

He knows because they leave the door open just enough on the last night of his visit.

Atem holds Yusei's hand on the left. On the right, he presses a button on a small remote before going back to gripping Yusei's hair. Kiryu looks down to see the tip of a vibrator between Yusei's trembling legs.

 In Kiryu's experience, Yusei is quiet but for whispers of promises and smothered guttural noises. Here, Yusei keens, sharper when Atem rides him slowly. His face is buried in Atem's chest where he always had his lips to Kiryu's ear.

Atem, though, gently presses his forehead until he's lying fully back. He's flushed from head to foot, eyes half-lidded and brows turned up, teeth grit as he tries to keep quiet. He is  _radiant._

Atem pulls his chin down. "It's okay," he whispers, "It's okay."

Yusei throws his head back and moans, louder than he ever did with Kiryu. His hand comes up to cover it. Atem doesn't let that happen either.

"I want to hear you," he tells Yusei.

Yusei gives him what he wants, of course. His moans match Atem's rhythm, curling up at the ends as if the habit of covering them— _when did he start that?_ —tries to reel him in.

Then he does something Kiryu's intimately familiar with: kiss his partner and start whispering.

"I love you."

"I love you too," Atem replies.

Yusei shines. "I'm here, I'm—"

"Yusei," Atem groans, curving his spine with his breath, "I don't want promises or a—" he grunts, "a body, I want  _you_."

Yusei looks at him with so much amazement that Kiryu aches with the realization that Yusei's been giving everything he has to the image people want until he becomes it. Kiryu held him and hissed about only needing him, when really he just needed someone who went along with him. Yusei wanted to be that somebody.

He just wants to help, to give. If Neo Domino labels that as a hero, he'll shoulder that burden. So on and so forth, until maybe Yusei got lost in those many shapes that he forgot how to present himself properly. Honest to a fault but only as honest as he can remember how to be, with his entire heart and soul and everything people need.

But Atem doesn't want any of that.

Yusei's face twists, and Kiryu thinks he's about to cry, before he flips Atem onto his back and— _takes_.

It's not the taking he usually does, the taking that's more absorbing than anything. Yusei pins Atem to the mattress, takes hold of his thigh and sets a furious pace. The vibrator's almost drowned by the loud smacks of his balls and harsh breath. He doesn't stop, doesn't think. Just takes.

It is consuming. It is  _selfish_.

Atem clings to him and grins in his hair. There's no malice there.

Yusei, for the first time since Kiryu's known him, finishes first. He makes a sound like he's been punched, then falls into a loud moan that settles warmly in Kiryu's ears.

Atem gropes for the remote to turn the vibrator off. He's still hard.

Yusei's wide-eyed, like he did something  _wrong_. "S-sorry—I—"

Atem kisses him and finishes himself off.

Kiryu leaves before Yusei can reply to another "I love you."

He leaves the next morning.

"Safe travels," Yusei says, shoulder to shoulder with someone who looks at him like home.

Kiryu doesn't visit again.

* * *

  _I've been hopin'_  
_Someone will love you,_  
**_Let me go._**


End file.
